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A miracle of Dr. Abdul Hai [ra]
Hazrat Dr. Abdul Hai my spiritual guide sometimes related to us, by way of a lesson, that a period of fifty-five years had passed of his marriage, he never talked to his wife during these fifty five years in an angry tone. The walking of a man on the surface of the water and his flying in the air is taken as a miracle. It is more surprising that one should not talk to his wife even in an adverse tone for as long as fifty five years. And his respectable wife says that her husband, Dr. Sahib. never asked her to bring to him a glass of water. She, however, served him as best as possible of her own sweet will and as a blessed and virtuous duty.
Tariqat is nothing but public service
Hazrat Dr. Sahib used to say: I consider myself to be a servant whom Allah has sent to this world for service.
This is my belief and with this belief I want to serve others and depart from this world. I am duty bound to serve all my friends, acquaintances, associates and pupils. I was not sent to this world as a master to be served by others. He considered the position of a servant of people to be an elevated rank. He then recited the famous persian couplet:
Tariqat (spiritual way) is nothing but public service. It does not consist in the robes and the prayer-rag and the saintly garments (signs of godliness).
Tariqat in fact, stands for public service. Dr. Sahib used to say: When I understood that I am a servant and not a master, how can a servant order others to do this and that? He spent his entire life by doing his personal work without the assistance of anyone else. This is a practical example of how the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet [sallallaahu alyhi wasallam] should be followed. As for ourselves we do follow the Sunnah in rituals only. It is necessary to follow the sunnah in dealings with others social living and in every mode of leading our private life.
Verbal claim is not enough
Living according to the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet [sallallaahu alyhi wasallam] is highly rewarding. Through such living man can smoothen his worldly life as well as his life in the Hereafter. But this success cannot be attained only by making empty claims.
"This means that everyone claims to love Laila, but Laila herself does not acknowledge their claim)."
This is achieved only by means of sincere work and devotion. By his character, conduct and practice man should ensure that he does not cause the least harm even to the person with whom he happens to be on unfriendly terms.
In short, the Holy Prophet [sallallaahu alyhi wasallam] has illustrated, by his own practice. the THIRD STEP of reforming an errant wife. Throughout his lifetime he never raised his hands on any one of his sacred wives. However he was sometimes irritated by their behaviour, but he never reacted to it. Those who beat their wives are declared the worst men by the Prophet [sallallaahu alyhi wasallam].
(Tirmidhi book of Tafsir. chapter Surah Taubah Tradition no: 3087).