QUESTION: We are going to have a dinner party at our house where some family members and a friend's family will be coming. Obviously, it is important that mixing between men and women be kept at a minimum. But I have a question regarding how this should be done, given that none of the guests wear hijab or pay much attention avoiding free-mixing. If we have men downstairs, women upstairs, and then have men come upstairs to get food (and then return downstairs to eat it), would the hosts be sinful by having an opportunity for men to look at women and vice-versa while the men come up to get food? The men will be getting food from the kitchen, while the women will be sitting in an adjacent family room (which is not walled off). Also, given that the guests do not observe any hijab, how far should we go in forcing segregation? Would the above situation in which men and women sit separately for most of the time be OK? The men and women guests normally converse with each other, so would the hosts be sinful if this occurs during the gathering?
ANSWER:
Assalamu alaykum
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious Most Merciful.
The setup of having Men downstairs and the Women upstairs sounds like a fair setup. The problem that you are mentioning in this setup can probably be overcome by having women who are mahram (wife, sister, mother. etc.) of the men transporting the food to pass the food to them in the hallway or something similar to this.
The responsibility of the host is to take as many reasonable measures to observe the laws of Allah in his boundaries and facilitate them. The setup you have mentioned seems to be fulfilling this criteria to a certain degree if the above problem can be somehow overcome. It is very difficult to ensure that no prohibited interaction take place at all, since such socialization may take place outside while the guests are leaving.
The Prophet of Allah (upon him be peace) said, "O People, you will never be able to [completely] observe all that you have been commanded. However, either hit the mark or be close [saddidu aw qaribu] (Bukhari, Muslim).
Hence, you are commended greatly for your attempts at observing the obligations and prohibitions of Allah. May Allah accept your endeavors.
Wassalam
Abdurrahman ibn Yusuf
[Source: SunniPath]