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Sinned During Engagement, Families Want Them to Wait... Can They Just Marry in Secret Now Before the Public Marriage Later?

Answered by Mufti Muhammad ibn Adam

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QUESTION: If a guy and girl committed sins during their engagement such as talking to each other on the phone and committing acts that were very close to zinaa, does this mean that their marriage will fail? Also both families don't want them to get married, they want to do nikah and make it halal to talk and see each other but its not possible to do so because of their families. They have tried to limit talking and make it so that they aren't in places where they could commit sins close to zinaa but every time they have asked for forgiveness and tried to avoid it, it still happened. What can they do now to make their marriage successful even after all that they have done?

ANSWER:In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,

Allah Mighty and Majestic is Most Compassionate and Most Merciful. He accepts the repentance of his sinful servants and is Most Forgiving. He Himself says:

“Say: “O my servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah, for Allah forgives all sins. He is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful”. (Surah al-Zumar, 53).

The best of humanity, our beloved Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said:

“The one who repents from sin is like the one who has no sins”. (Sunan ibn Majah & Mu’jam al-Kabir of Tabarani).

In light of the above and other texts of the Qur’an and Sunnah, it becomes clear that when a servant sincerely repents to Allah, it is certainly accepted. However, there are three conditions for the repentance to be accepted:

a) to desist from the sin

b) to regret having done it

c) and to resolve never to commit it again (Nawawi, Riyad al-Salihin, 1/88)

Therefore, if the girl and boy in question sincerely repent from the sins they committed during engagement and make a firm resolution never to commit the sin again; there is no reason why there should be no Baraka in their marriage. It certainly does not mean that their marriage will fail due to the sins carried out during engagement. However, they must abstain from any informal interaction prior to the Nikah, as they are considered (according to Shariah) strangers.

Regarding the second aspect to your question, it seems from your question that the couple are engaged, but their families refuse them to get married at present. If this is the case, then first of all, the respective parents should be convinced that there is a possibility of the couple being involved in a sin, thus they should not be prevented from getting married, for there is great Baraka in acquiring the pleasure and consent of the parents. If, however, all avenues in convincing them fail, then the couple may marry in secret provided all the conditions for a valid marriage are met, for which they should consult a reliable scholar, and then later carry out a formal ceremony.

And Allah knows best

Muhammad ibn Adam al-Kawthari, UK

[Source: SunniPath]


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